Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts

My sister forwarded this to me today; credit may go to Sharon Pera, although that might just be the person who sent it to my sister... anyhow:


-- I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

-- Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

-- The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

-- Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

-- There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

-- An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

-- If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"

-- Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

-- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

-- Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

-- Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

-- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

-- Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

-- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

-- Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

-- AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: You read about all these terrorists - most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 to 15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster: You are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. We should put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.